Twenty-eight thousand dollars finefor each dancing Hitler
What more can be said about a parade float featuring dead Jews.
American Ingenuity
Why is the bathroom door in this Carlsbad hotel room notched in such an interesting manner? Is it from some damage that hasn't yet been fixed? Is it a fancy embellishment to the otherwise boring straight line of the door edge?
No!
Apparently the door is just a smidgen too close to the toilet when it opens in to the bathroom... so the smart folks in the hotel facilities office cut a little section out to allow it to swing fully open.
Now that's ingenuity!
Parental Examination
A soiled baby, with a neglected nose, cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
Mark Twain (1835-1910), author
There should be a test that people need to pass before becoming parents. Let's review a few of the basics before the final exam:
You can find more answers for your examine from this book:
A tip of the hat to Monkeys for Helping, which has even more parental tips.
Mark Twain (1835-1910), author
There should be a test that people need to pass before becoming parents. Let's review a few of the basics before the final exam:
You can find more answers for your examine from this book:
A tip of the hat to Monkeys for Helping, which has even more parental tips.
A Female President?
But even the President of the United States
Sometimes must have
To stand naked
Bob Dylan, singer, songwriter
Now that Hillary seems to be a popular candidate will we see more of this? You may have seen these photos a few years ago, but I missed them and thought it was worth a chuckle. Before politicians such as Rudy Giuliani or government officials like J. Edgar Hoover, there was the comedian Milton Berle. Now I introduce you to a few Photohopped presidents:
Sometimes must have
To stand naked
Bob Dylan, singer, songwriter
Now that Hillary seems to be a popular candidate will we see more of this? You may have seen these photos a few years ago, but I missed them and thought it was worth a chuckle. Before politicians such as Rudy Giuliani or government officials like J. Edgar Hoover, there was the comedian Milton Berle. Now I introduce you to a few Photohopped presidents:
Train Kept a Rollin’
The only way of catching a train I have ever discovered is to miss the train before.
G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936), author
Yesterday a majority of the day was spent on the train to San Diego to and fro. I was on the Amtrak and what a treat. The seats were comfortable, there was a plug to keep the computer charged, and stereotypical California scenery aplenty.
Because of this trip and pleasant experience, I plan to take a nice day or weekend trip to San Diego via the train in the near future. A round-trip ticket was approximately $50 from Union Station.
These photos were taken from inside the train through a rain-spotted window:
If you look carefully you can see the reflection of the camera.
G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936), author
Yesterday a majority of the day was spent on the train to San Diego to and fro. I was on the Amtrak and what a treat. The seats were comfortable, there was a plug to keep the computer charged, and stereotypical California scenery aplenty.
Because of this trip and pleasant experience, I plan to take a nice day or weekend trip to San Diego via the train in the near future. A round-trip ticket was approximately $50 from Union Station.
These photos were taken from inside the train through a rain-spotted window:
If you look carefully you can see the reflection of the camera.
Yes We CanObama for President
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) U.S. President
I was very excited to hear about Carolyn Kennedy supporting Obama in the Sunday New York Times. What I like about him is he is not playing the typical divisive politics that we are seeing from the Clintons. The Clintons have to use these kinds of tactics because that is what the Republicans use so successfully, but if Obama can rise above it, then we have an opportunity to be hopeful that the tone at the top will change and spread through Washington, the country, and around the world.
It’s worth taking a chance on Obama for that hope.
From the opinion piece:
Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that someone has a special ability to get us to believe in ourselves, to tie that belief to our highest ideals and imagine that together we can do great things. In those rare moments, when such a person comes along, we need to put aside our plans and reach for what we know is possible.
We have that kind of opportunity with Senator Obama. It isn’t that the other candidates are not experienced or knowledgeable. But this year, that may not be enough. We need a change in the leadership of this country — just as we did in 1960.
Senator Obama has demonstrated these qualities throughout his more than two decades of public service, not just in the United States Senate but in Illinois, where he helped turn around struggling communities, taught constitutional law and was an elected state official for eight years. And Senator Obama is showing the same qualities today. He has built a movement that is changing the face of politics in this country, and he has demonstrated a special gift for inspiring young people — known for a willingness to volunteer, but an aversion to politics — to become engaged in the political process.
John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) U.S. President
I was very excited to hear about Carolyn Kennedy supporting Obama in the Sunday New York Times. What I like about him is he is not playing the typical divisive politics that we are seeing from the Clintons. The Clintons have to use these kinds of tactics because that is what the Republicans use so successfully, but if Obama can rise above it, then we have an opportunity to be hopeful that the tone at the top will change and spread through Washington, the country, and around the world.
It’s worth taking a chance on Obama for that hope.
From the opinion piece:
Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that someone has a special ability to get us to believe in ourselves, to tie that belief to our highest ideals and imagine that together we can do great things. In those rare moments, when such a person comes along, we need to put aside our plans and reach for what we know is possible.
We have that kind of opportunity with Senator Obama. It isn’t that the other candidates are not experienced or knowledgeable. But this year, that may not be enough. We need a change in the leadership of this country — just as we did in 1960.
Senator Obama has demonstrated these qualities throughout his more than two decades of public service, not just in the United States Senate but in Illinois, where he helped turn around struggling communities, taught constitutional law and was an elected state official for eight years. And Senator Obama is showing the same qualities today. He has built a movement that is changing the face of politics in this country, and he has demonstrated a special gift for inspiring young people — known for a willingness to volunteer, but an aversion to politics — to become engaged in the political process.
If I Were a Different Sort of Man,I'd Be in Heaven
My oldest daughter (eight years old) surprised me with a question today as we drove around in the rain -- a question that, if I were a different sort of man, would have had me walking on air.
"Daddy, is it true that you only have to choke the clutch when your engine is cold?"
"Daddy, is it true that you only have to choke the clutch when your engine is cold?"
Welcome New Readers
“I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.”
Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), writer
Before the year ended I was caught unaware about a situation I created, innocently; see “Lesson Learned” post below. What surprised me most after the dust cleared is the sanctimonious jackals hollering for blood. I suspect they are the type of people one would see in the accompanying photo.
Initially, I thought I would not blog any more. I wondered if it was really worth it.
I first removed a number of posts that related to daughter because I worried about her safety, then I took down just about everything. I thought these wackos could be dangerous. After reading the comments from the priggish lout boasting about discovering the blog and how he hated my
…vitriolic and disdainful commentary of a political nature (all of which I found myself disagreeing with, vehemently). I made a point to review it [the blog] heavily as I wanted to make sure that the attorneys received all pertinent information…
I decided that I couldn’t back down. Once I read his comments, I quickly returned the political posts (although I couldn’t find any of a vitriolic nature), especially after he provided a link to Toner Mishap.
Welcome new readers and join the many others who already enjoy the posts of Toner Mishap.
Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), writer
Before the year ended I was caught unaware about a situation I created, innocently; see “Lesson Learned” post below. What surprised me most after the dust cleared is the sanctimonious jackals hollering for blood. I suspect they are the type of people one would see in the accompanying photo.
Initially, I thought I would not blog any more. I wondered if it was really worth it.
I first removed a number of posts that related to daughter because I worried about her safety, then I took down just about everything. I thought these wackos could be dangerous. After reading the comments from the priggish lout boasting about discovering the blog and how he hated my…vitriolic and disdainful commentary of a political nature (all of which I found myself disagreeing with, vehemently). I made a point to review it [the blog] heavily as I wanted to make sure that the attorneys received all pertinent information…
I decided that I couldn’t back down. Once I read his comments, I quickly returned the political posts (although I couldn’t find any of a vitriolic nature), especially after he provided a link to Toner Mishap.
Welcome new readers and join the many others who already enjoy the posts of Toner Mishap.
From Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "Letter from a Birmingham Jail"
“In all the work we do, our most valuable asset can be the attitude of self-examination. It is forgivable to make mistakes, but to stand fast behind a wall of self-righteousness and make the same mistake twice is not forgivable.”
Dale E. Turner
From Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "Letter from a Birmingham Jail"
"I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection."
You can read the rest of the letter at The Ethical Exhibitionist who receives a tip of the hat for posting this, or here read it at the Martin Luther King Jr. Research and Education Institute
Dale E. Turner
From Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "Letter from a Birmingham Jail"
"I must make two honest confessions to you, my Christian and Jewish brothers. First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Councilor or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection."
You can read the rest of the letter at The Ethical Exhibitionist who receives a tip of the hat for posting this, or here read it at the Martin Luther King Jr. Research and Education Institute
Gimme Some Truth
I'm sick and tired of hearing things
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
John Lennon (1940-1980), singer, song writer
The whole truth, nothing but the truth; not from the Bush administration.
Our government made 935 'false statements' to its citizens in the run-up to
the war in Iraq. Bush made 260 of them himself. And, the citizenry doesn't seem to care.
The right-wing nut jobs and the sanctimoniously righteous will discount the story citing the fact CNN carried it.
Tip of the hat to Chandira at Diary of a Hope Fiend.
From uptight, short-sighted, narrow-minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth
Just gimme some truth
John Lennon (1940-1980), singer, song writer
The whole truth, nothing but the truth; not from the Bush administration.
Our government made 935 'false statements' to its citizens in the run-up to
the war in Iraq. Bush made 260 of them himself. And, the citizenry doesn't seem to care.The right-wing nut jobs and the sanctimoniously righteous will discount the story citing the fact CNN carried it.
Tip of the hat to Chandira at Diary of a Hope Fiend.
Lesson Learned
I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
H.L. Mencken, writer
I made a mistake and I faced my potential punishment with nervousness, remorsefulness, and very, very carefully so as not to make any further missteps. Not as others may have described as quiveringly, shakingly, or trembling. Meekly, maybe. I would have said soft-spoken. I certainly wasn’t going to be wrong and forceful, like so many right-wing nut jobs with flat tops and Jesus bumper stickers. Well, I guess we all think of ourselves as writers, whether writing here or in a newspaper’s comment section.
That is all I will say on the topic.
H.L. Mencken, writer
I made a mistake and I faced my potential punishment with nervousness, remorsefulness, and very, very carefully so as not to make any further missteps. Not as others may have described as quiveringly, shakingly, or trembling. Meekly, maybe. I would have said soft-spoken. I certainly wasn’t going to be wrong and forceful, like so many right-wing nut jobs with flat tops and Jesus bumper stickers. Well, I guess we all think of ourselves as writers, whether writing here or in a newspaper’s comment section.
That is all I will say on the topic.
008 Oscar Nominations Announced, ABC Takes To Finger-Crossing
Mark Graham-Here we are, wide awake at the pass of 5:30, waiting with baited breath for the appearance of Phineus the Oscar Ferret. If anyone was concerned about the Academy's ability to make star power to this year's ceremony in the expression of the ongoing WGA strike, fear no longer. After all, if they can recruit Kathy Bates to take this year's annoucements, they can achieve ANYTHING!
The complete 2008 Academy Award nominations (along with some rudimentary commentary) appear after the jump.
Initial reactions: Juno seems to be crowning cresting at exactly the proper time. Despite being shut out at The Globes a few weeks ago, America's favorite anti-shmushmortion flick scored huge noms in Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress and Best Screenplay (Diablo, whut whut?). Howevs, we are sad to declare that Jennifer Garner got straight up robbed out of a nomination. Also, for a movie that never actually got off the background during its initial theatrical run, Michael Clayton sure scored huge with nods in all of the major categories. As for big surprises that weren't really surprises at all, the Into The Wild hype machine never truly caught on with critics or the world at large, resulting in a complete shut out for Sean Penn and Emile Hirsch. One last note, wherefore art the Original Song nominations for Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story?
80th Academy AWARDS NOMINATIONS
Best motion video of the year
"Atonement" (Focus Features) A Working Title Production: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers
"Juno" (Fox Searchlight) A Dancing Elk Pictures, LLC Production: Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros. A Clayton Productions, LLC Production: Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production: JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers
Performance by an actor in a leadership role
George Clooney in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros. Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah" (Warner Independent)
Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises" (Focus Features)
Performance by an actor in a support role
Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.)
Javier Bardem in "No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Charlie Wilson's War" (Universal)
Hal Holbrook in "Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)
Tom Wilkinson in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Performance by an actress in a leadership role
Cate Blanchett in "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal)
Julie Christie in "Away from Her" (Lionsgate)
Marion Cotillard in "La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse)
Laura Linney in "The Savages" (Fox Searchlight)
Ellen Page in "Juno" (Fox Searchlight)
Performance by an actress in a support role
Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" (The Weinstein Company)
Ruby Dee in "American Gangster" (Universal)
Saoirse Ronan in "Atonement" (Focus Features)
Amy Ryan in "Gone Baby Gone" (Miramax)
Tilda Swinton in "Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.)
Best animated feature film of the year
"Persepolis" (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
"Surf's Up" (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck
Achievement in art direction
"American Gangster" (Universal): Art Direction: Arthur Max; Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino
"Atonement" (Focus Features): Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
"The Golden Compass" (New Course in connection with Ingenious Film Partners): Art Direction: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros. Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount): Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson
Achievement in cinematography
"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" (Warner Bros.): Roger Deakins
"Atonement" (Focus Features): Seamus McGarvey
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Path Renn): Janusz Kaminski
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Robert Elswit
Achievement in costume design
"Across the Universe" (Sony Pictures Releasing) Albert Wolsky
"Atonement" (Focus Features) Jacqueline Durran
"Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (Universal) Alexandra Byrne
"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Marit Allen
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros. Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Colleen Atwood
Achievement in directing
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Path Renn), Julian Schnabel
"Juno" (Fox Searchlight), Jason Reitman
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson
Best documentary feature
"No End in Sight" (Magnolia Pictures) A Representational Pictures Production: Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
"Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience" (The Documentary Group) A Documentary Group Production: Richard E. Robbins
"Sicko" (Lionsgate and The Weinstein Company) A Dog Eat Dog Films Production: Michael Moore and Meghan O'Hara
"Taxi to the Black Side" (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner
"War/Dance" (THINKFilm) A Shine Global and Fine Films Production: Andrea Nix Fine and Sean Fine
Best documentary short subject
"Freeheld" A Lieutenant Films Production: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth
"La Corona (The Crown)" A Runaway Films and Vega Films Production: Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega
"Salim Baba" A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello
"Sari's Mother" (Cinema Guild) A Daylight Factory Production: James Longley
Achievement in film editing
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Christopher Rouse
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Path Renn): Juliette Welfling
"Into the Wild" (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment): Jay Cassidy
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Dylan Tichenor
Best foreign language film of the year
"Beaufort" Israel
"The Counterfeiters" Austria
"Katyn" Poland
"Mongol" Kazakhstan
"12" Russia
Achievement in makeup
"La Vie en Rose" (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald
"Norbit" (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount): Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
"Atonement" (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli
"The Kite Runner" (DreamWorks, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Participant Productions, Distributed by Paramount Classics): Alberto Iglesias
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros. James Newton Howard
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino
"3:10 to Yuma" (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami
Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
"Falling Slowly" from "Once" (Fox Searchlight) Music and Language by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova
"Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted" (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
"Raise It Up" from "August Rush" (Warner Bros.): Nominees to be determined
"So Close" from "Enchanted" (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
"That's How You Know" from "Enchanted" (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
Best animated short film
"I Met the Walrus" A Kids & Explosions Production: Josh Raskin
"Madame Tutli-Putli" (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski "Mme Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)" (Premium Films) A BUF Compagnie Production Samuel Tourneux and Simon Vanesse
"My Love (Moya Lyubov)" (Channel One Russia) A Dago-Film Studio, Channel One Russia and Dentsu Tec Production Alexander Petrov
"Peter & the Wolf" (BreakThru Films) A BreakThru Films/Se-ma-for Studios Production Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman
Best live action short film
"At Night" A Zentropa Entertainments 10 Production: Christian E. Christiansen and Louise Vesth
"Il Supplente (The Substitute)" (Sky Cinema Italia) A Couch by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin
"Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)" (Premium Films) A Kar Production: Philippe Pollet-Villard
"Tanghi Argentini" (Premium Films) An Another Attribute of an Idea Production: Guido Thys and Anja Daelemans
"The Tonto Woman" A Knucklehead, Little Mo and Rose Hackney Barber Production: Daniel Barber and Matthew Brown
Achievement in sound editing
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Randy Thom and Michael Silvers
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Matthew Wood
"Transformers" (DreamWorks and Predominant in connection with Hasbro): Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins
Achievement in sound mixing
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter Kurland
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney): Randy Thom, Michael Semanick and Doc Kane
"3:10 to Yuma" (Lionsgate): Paul Massey, David Giammarco and Jim Stuebe
"Transformers" (DreamWorks and Predominant in connection with Hasbro): Kevin O'Connell, Greg P. Russell and Peter J. Devlin
Achievement in visual effects
"The Golden Compass" (New Course in connection with Ingenious Film Partners): Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood
"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier
"Transformers" (DreamWorks and Predominant in connection with Hasbro): Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Russell Earl and John Frazier
Adapted screenplay
"Atonement" (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
"Away from Her" (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax/Path Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
"No Country for Old Men" (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the test by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
"There Will Be Blood" (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the test by Paul Thomas Anderson
Original screenplay
"Juno" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Diablo Cody
"Lars and the Very Girl" (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
"Michael Clayton" (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
"Ratatouille" (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
"The Savages" (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins
On My Way to Court
Amongst the learned the lawyers claim first place, the most self-satisfied class of people, as they roll their rock of Sisyphus and string together six hundred laws in the same breath, no matter whether relevant or not, piling up opinion on opinion and gloss on gloss to make their profession seem the most difficult of all. Anything which causes trouble has special merit in their eyes.
Desiderius Erasmus (c. 1466–1536), Dutch humanist
I am caught in the web...
Desiderius Erasmus (c. 1466–1536), Dutch humanist
I am caught in the web...
Personal Thoughts
“Sometimes I wonder if I'm the person I was born to be, if the life I've lived really is the one I was meant to, or if it is some half life, a mutation engineered by loss, cobbled together by the will to survive."
Anderson Cooper, journalist
All day I have been thinking about my life’s occupation. Lately I have been wanting to be a reporter/writer, again. Sunday morning, I read the LATimes book review about William Vollmann and his latest book “riding “Toward Everywhere," which is an account of his adventure as a slumming hobo.” I had a week’s vacation planned when I was in my early twenties to jump trains with the managing editor of the local newspaper where I worked. We never did it. I don’t recall why, but I am truly sorry we didn't. The reviewer called Vollmann an intrepid cultural interpreter. Also, yesterday morning in the NYTimes was an article on Jimmy Breslin. It talked about his style of reporting and it named many of peers who are now dead such as Norman Mailer, Murray Kempton, George Plimpton, and Arthur Schlesinger. Saturday’s Wall Street Journal featured an opinion piece on Fredric U. Dicker, state editor for the New York Post, who doesn’t let politicians get away with their usual lies and half truths. Finally, I started reading Anderson Cooper’s “Dispatches from the Edge.”
In some respects Toner Mishap is my opinion page outlet for not following my heart, but my wallet, not that I am doing so great, but my career choices have been slightly more lucrative than being a local reporter somewhere. I still have a fantasy of working for some local newspaper in my golden years. I suspect I have too much of an independent, contrarian, cynical streak to appeal to a local readership, so you're stuck with me.
Tuesday I go to court regarding the posts about my experiences as a juror, so even blogging I get into anxiety causing situations. Writing can be a dangerous and costly occupation, if you offend someone. Breslin was beat up badly by a mafia member of the Lucchese family. On The Mark called me early at the office the other morning and highly recommended that I take down the post that wrote, which was just a quote, but he thought I was asking for trouble. I removed the post. I will use the quote again shortly I have no doubt. I have deleted another post a few months ago that had to do with the CEO of a once major mortgage company, after the newspapers reported that he collected millions of dollars in bonuses and stocks, but the company was going to lay off thousands of employees, I asked how could he sleep at night.
There is certainly a chilling effect on writing if you are not careful. For my own good, I think I will just stick to Toner Mishap and attempt not to aggravate the powerful and litigation minded, as best I can.
Anderson Cooper, journalist
All day I have been thinking about my life’s occupation. Lately I have been wanting to be a reporter/writer, again. Sunday morning, I read the LATimes book review about William Vollmann and his latest book “riding “Toward Everywhere," which is an account of his adventure as a slumming hobo.” I had a week’s vacation planned when I was in my early twenties to jump trains with the managing editor of the local newspaper where I worked. We never did it. I don’t recall why, but I am truly sorry we didn't. The reviewer called Vollmann an intrepid cultural interpreter. Also, yesterday morning in the NYTimes was an article on Jimmy Breslin. It talked about his style of reporting and it named many of peers who are now dead such as Norman Mailer, Murray Kempton, George Plimpton, and Arthur Schlesinger. Saturday’s Wall Street Journal featured an opinion piece on Fredric U. Dicker, state editor for the New York Post, who doesn’t let politicians get away with their usual lies and half truths. Finally, I started reading Anderson Cooper’s “Dispatches from the Edge.”
In some respects Toner Mishap is my opinion page outlet for not following my heart, but my wallet, not that I am doing so great, but my career choices have been slightly more lucrative than being a local reporter somewhere. I still have a fantasy of working for some local newspaper in my golden years. I suspect I have too much of an independent, contrarian, cynical streak to appeal to a local readership, so you're stuck with me.
Tuesday I go to court regarding the posts about my experiences as a juror, so even blogging I get into anxiety causing situations. Writing can be a dangerous and costly occupation, if you offend someone. Breslin was beat up badly by a mafia member of the Lucchese family. On The Mark called me early at the office the other morning and highly recommended that I take down the post that wrote, which was just a quote, but he thought I was asking for trouble. I removed the post. I will use the quote again shortly I have no doubt. I have deleted another post a few months ago that had to do with the CEO of a once major mortgage company, after the newspapers reported that he collected millions of dollars in bonuses and stocks, but the company was going to lay off thousands of employees, I asked how could he sleep at night.
There is certainly a chilling effect on writing if you are not careful. For my own good, I think I will just stick to Toner Mishap and attempt not to aggravate the powerful and litigation minded, as best I can.
Life Imitates art or does art imitate life?
Art is a reality, not a definition; inasmuch as it approaches a reality, it approaches perfection, and inasmuch as it approaches a mere definition, it is imperfect and untrue.
Benjamin Haydon (1786-1846) artist
I just finished the bibliophile mystery "The book of Air and Shadows" by Michael Gruber and found this interesting:
...movies come first. For example, one never had a fast draw face-to-face shoot-out on the dusty Main Street in a western town. It never happened ever. A screenwriter invented it for dramatic effect. It’s the classic American trope, redemption through violence, and it comes through the movies. There were very few handguns in the real old west. They were expensive and heavy and no one but an idiot would wear them in a side holster. On a horse? When you wanted to kill someone in the old West, you waited for your chance and shot him in the back, usually with a shotgun. Now we have a zillion handguns because the movies taught us that a handgun is something a real man has to have, and people really kill each other like fictional western gunslingers. And it’s not just hugs.
Movies shape everyone’ reality, to the extent that it’s shaped by human action—foreign policy, business, sexual relationships, family dynamics, the whole nine yards. It used to be the Bible but now it’s movies. Why is there stalking? Because we know that the guy should persist and make a fool of himself until the girl admits that she loves him. Why is there date rape? Because the asshole is waiting for the moment when resistance turns to passion.
Benjamin Haydon (1786-1846) artist
I just finished the bibliophile mystery "The book of Air and Shadows" by Michael Gruber and found this interesting:
...movies come first. For example, one never had a fast draw face-to-face shoot-out on the dusty Main Street in a western town. It never happened ever. A screenwriter invented it for dramatic effect. It’s the classic American trope, redemption through violence, and it comes through the movies. There were very few handguns in the real old west. They were expensive and heavy and no one but an idiot would wear them in a side holster. On a horse? When you wanted to kill someone in the old West, you waited for your chance and shot him in the back, usually with a shotgun. Now we have a zillion handguns because the movies taught us that a handgun is something a real man has to have, and people really kill each other like fictional western gunslingers. And it’s not just hugs.
Movies shape everyone’ reality, to the extent that it’s shaped by human action—foreign policy, business, sexual relationships, family dynamics, the whole nine yards. It used to be the Bible but now it’s movies. Why is there stalking? Because we know that the guy should persist and make a fool of himself until the girl admits that she loves him. Why is there date rape? Because the asshole is waiting for the moment when resistance turns to passion.
Overreaction:Political Correctness, Again
This is one of those things that just gets my goat.
Apparently an on-air Golf Channel personality (Kelly Tilghman) was talking about Tiger Woods recently and used the word "lynch" -- suggesting that in order for the other golfers to actually win now and then, they might need to gang up on Tiger and "lynch him in a back alley."
Had they said this about a white golfer, no one would have blinked. The word is a little more loaded when referring to Tiger, I suppose, because of his race and the history of violence against blacks in America. So OK, this host was insensitive. She was suspended for two weeks.
The real problem I have is what took place this week in Golfweek magazine -- the cover is shown here. A noose was used to illustrate the story about Tilghman's use of the word "lynch" -- and the editor has now been sacked over that image choice. Why? It's an appropriate, dramatic image to illustrate the content of the story -- and that's all.
Agree? Disagree?
Check out the article on Yahoo.
Apparently an on-air Golf Channel personality (Kelly Tilghman) was talking about Tiger Woods recently and used the word "lynch" -- suggesting that in order for the other golfers to actually win now and then, they might need to gang up on Tiger and "lynch him in a back alley."
Had they said this about a white golfer, no one would have blinked. The word is a little more loaded when referring to Tiger, I suppose, because of his race and the history of violence against blacks in America. So OK, this host was insensitive. She was suspended for two weeks.
The real problem I have is what took place this week in Golfweek magazine -- the cover is shown here. A noose was used to illustrate the story about Tilghman's use of the word "lynch" -- and the editor has now been sacked over that image choice. Why? It's an appropriate, dramatic image to illustrate the content of the story -- and that's all.Agree? Disagree?
Check out the article on Yahoo.
Bobby Fischer RIP
I am still a victim of chess. It has all the beauty of art—and much more. It cannot be commercialized. Chess is much purer than art in its social position
Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968) French artist
During the summer of 1972, I really became a Rolling Stones fan with the release of "Exile on Main Street," which was the background music to all our neighborhood chess games. I played every chance I could; Bobby Fischer and his game against Boris Spassky is who I can thank for my interest in the game. With my new iMac computer, I was pleased that a chess game was included.
From the New York Times: Bobby Fischer, the iconoclastic genius who was one of the greatest chess players the world has ever seen, has died, The Associated Press reported Friday. He died on Thursday in a hospital in Reykjavik, Iceland, his spokesman, Gardar Sverrisson, said. He was 64. No cause of death was given.
Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968) French artist
During the summer of 1972, I really became a Rolling Stones fan with the release of "Exile on Main Street," which was the background music to all our neighborhood chess games. I played every chance I could; Bobby Fischer and his game against Boris Spassky is who I can thank for my interest in the game. With my new iMac computer, I was pleased that a chess game was included.
From the New York Times: Bobby Fischer, the iconoclastic genius who was one of the greatest chess players the world has ever seen, has died, The Associated Press reported Friday. He died on Thursday in a hospital in Reykjavik, Iceland, his spokesman, Gardar Sverrisson, said. He was 64. No cause of death was given.
The world championship match against the elegant Spassky was an unforgettable spectacle, the cold war fought with chess pieces in an out-of-the-way place. Mr. Fischer’s characteristic petulance, loutishness and sense of outrage were the stuff of front page headlines all over the globe. Incensed by the conditions under which the match was to be played — he was particularly offended by the whirr of television cameras in the hall — he lost the first game, then forfeited the second and insisted the remaining games be played in an isolated room the size of a janitor’s closet. There, he roared back from what, in chess, is a sizable deficit, trouncing Mr. Spassky, 12 ½to 8 ½. (In championship chess, a victory is worth one point, a draw a half-point for each player.) In all, Mr. Fischer won 7 games, lost 3 (including the forfeit) and drew 11.
Through July and most of August, the attention of the world was riveted on the Spassky-Fischer match. Americans who didn’t know a Ruy Lopez from a Poisoned Pawn watched a hitherto unknown commentator named Shelby Lyman explain each game on public television. All this was Mr. Fischer’s doing. Bobby Fischer the rebel, the enfant-terrible, the tantrum-thrower, the uncompromising savage of the chess board, had captured the imagination of the world. Because of him, for the first time in the United States the game, with all its arcana and intimations of nerdiness, was cool. And when it was over, he walked away with a winner’s purse of $250,000, a sum that staggered anyone ever associated with chess. When Mr. Spassky won the world championship, his prize was $1,400.
Mr. Fischer, the most powerful American player in history, had renounced his American citizenship and moved to Iceland in 2005.Political Theme Song
Intellectually I know that America is no better than any other country; emotionally I know she is better than every other country.
Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951), novelist
I purchased my first iTune song "A Few Words in Defense of Our Country" by Randy Newman below (just the song not the video), which is apropos for this political season:
Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951), novelist
I purchased my first iTune song "A Few Words in Defense of Our Country" by Randy Newman below (just the song not the video), which is apropos for this political season:
The Chilling Effect Continues
Amongst the learned the lawyers claim first place, the most self-satisfied class of people, as they roll their rock of Sisyphus and string together six hundred laws in the same breath, no matter whether relevant or not, piling up opinion on opinion and gloss on gloss to make their profession seem the most difficult of all. Anything which causes trouble has special merit in their eyes.
Desiderius Erasmus (c. 1466–1536), Dutch humanist
That is all I want to say for now.
Desiderius Erasmus (c. 1466–1536), Dutch humanist
That is all I want to say for now.
Smurfs 50th Anniversary
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
Walt Disney, (1901-1966) animator, filmmaker, amusement park developer
From the Wall Street Journal:
Belgium is known for a lot of things, including waffles and an array of skull-crushingly strong beers that would make even a much-larger nation proud. Oddly, another product of this bastion of biculturalism is the surprisingly homogenous group of blue-skinned gnomes known as Schtroumpf, which, in American, is translated as the Smurfs. The Associated Press reports that 2008 is the 50th anniversary of these
mushroom dwellers.
The Smurfs originally surfaced as supporting characters in a 1958 cartoon called "Johan and Pirlouit," which was set in the Middle Ages and drawn by Pierre Culliford, a cartoonist who went by the pen name "Peyo."
In Spanish, a Smurf is a Pitufo. The Gerrmans call them Schlumpfs. They're Nam Ching Ling in China and, in Japan, one of the little guys -- or Smurfette -- is a Sumafa. They're called Dardassim in Hebrew.
Walt Disney, (1901-1966) animator, filmmaker, amusement park developer
From the Wall Street Journal:
Belgium is known for a lot of things, including waffles and an array of skull-crushingly strong beers that would make even a much-larger nation proud. Oddly, another product of this bastion of biculturalism is the surprisingly homogenous group of blue-skinned gnomes known as Schtroumpf, which, in American, is translated as the Smurfs. The Associated Press reports that 2008 is the 50th anniversary of these
mushroom dwellers.The Smurfs originally surfaced as supporting characters in a 1958 cartoon called "Johan and Pirlouit," which was set in the Middle Ages and drawn by Pierre Culliford, a cartoonist who went by the pen name "Peyo."
In Spanish, a Smurf is a Pitufo. The Gerrmans call them Schlumpfs. They're Nam Ching Ling in China and, in Japan, one of the little guys -- or Smurfette -- is a Sumafa. They're called Dardassim in Hebrew.
Thick as a Fence Post
Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1966) writer
I purchased one of our luxury items – firewood. The others being books and CDs. The guy who delivered the firewood said the price was $5 more than what I was quoted the day I ordered it. I told him I would call the place and tell them, but he asked me not to, he didn’t care about his tip.
I didn’t argue, which is not my nature and I gave him his tip anyway, because while we disagreed completely about religion, he was still a nice guy. The conversation started because he was telling god to bless the family and me, then he used an example about homosexuals should not be together because of what the Bible says.
I had to point out to him the hypocrisy of the Bible on this topic. I showed the delivery man an article from the 2004 Los Angeles Times opinion piece titled “Holy Terror.” Even before I could show him the direct quote from the newspaper on Leviticus 20:13 that says homosexuals should be killed: “if a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death,” he dismissed the article as the writer’s interpretation. I said it was a direct quote from the Bible, but he had never seen it. He couldn’t believe that the Bible could contradict itself from the Ten Commandments. I attempted to show him other quotes called out by the newspaper that the Bible also instructs us to murder people who work on the Sabbath (which is what he was doing), along with adulterers and children who curse their parents.
He had his beliefs and nothing I said was going to change his mind. I wished him well and thanked him for stacking the wood.
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1966) writer
I purchased one of our luxury items – firewood. The others being books and CDs. The guy who delivered the firewood said the price was $5 more than what I was quoted the day I ordered it. I told him I would call the place and tell them, but he asked me not to, he didn’t care about his tip.
I didn’t argue, which is not my nature and I gave him his tip anyway, because while we disagreed completely about religion, he was still a nice guy. The conversation started because he was telling god to bless the family and me, then he used an example about homosexuals should not be together because of what the Bible says.
I had to point out to him the hypocrisy of the Bible on this topic. I showed the delivery man an article from the 2004 Los Angeles Times opinion piece titled “Holy Terror.” Even before I could show him the direct quote from the newspaper on Leviticus 20:13 that says homosexuals should be killed: “if a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death,” he dismissed the article as the writer’s interpretation. I said it was a direct quote from the Bible, but he had never seen it. He couldn’t believe that the Bible could contradict itself from the Ten Commandments. I attempted to show him other quotes called out by the newspaper that the Bible also instructs us to murder people who work on the Sabbath (which is what he was doing), along with adulterers and children who curse their parents.
He had his beliefs and nothing I said was going to change his mind. I wished him well and thanked him for stacking the wood.
Feeling Secure?
I did send to you
For certain sums of gold, which you denied me
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) dramatist, poet
Speaking of Big Brother, who exactly is in charge here? Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff is not making me feel secure or confident about who is in charge. How secure we should feel in this country, especially when the FBI has carte blanche to wire tap most anyone at any time under this administration, but then they get cut off in the middle of surveillances for lack of payment, according to the Wall Street Journal:
A Justice Department audit released today revealed telecom companies recently cut off some FBI wiretaps on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated inability to pay bills on time. The audit blamed the FBI's lax oversight, ironically, of money used for undercover jobs. A wiretap in at least one Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act investigation was "halted due to untimely payment," the audit found. The report offered recommendations to improve tracking and management of the funding system, including telecommunication costs.
Why is it that FBI interruptus apparently okay if our country is always in imminent danger of attack?
AT&T doesn't care what your higher mission is if you have not paid your bill, the country be damned
For certain sums of gold, which you denied me
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) dramatist, poet
Speaking of Big Brother, who exactly is in charge here? Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff is not making me feel secure or confident about who is in charge. How secure we should feel in this country, especially when the FBI has carte blanche to wire tap most anyone at any time under this administration, but then they get cut off in the middle of surveillances for lack of payment, according to the Wall Street Journal:
A Justice Department audit released today revealed telecom companies recently cut off some FBI wiretaps on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated inability to pay bills on time. The audit blamed the FBI's lax oversight, ironically, of money used for undercover jobs. A wiretap in at least one Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act investigation was "halted due to untimely payment," the audit found. The report offered recommendations to improve tracking and management of the funding system, including telecommunication costs.
Why is it that FBI interruptus apparently okay if our country is always in imminent danger of attack?
AT&T doesn't care what your higher mission is if you have not paid your bill, the country be damned
A Chilling Effect
I have often thought that if a rational Fascist dictatorship were to exist, then it would choose the American system.
Noam Chomsky, U.S. linguist, political analyst
The lumbering wheels of justice rolled up to my house (as Michael Corleone said: "IN MY HOME! Where my wife sleeps... and my children play with their toys.") and it has had a chilling effect. I am not going to discuss now, but I am very bothered and rather outraged, once I got over my initial shock and fear.
This chilling effect has made me suspect that my First Amendment rights are not so secure unless I have Paris Hilton’s legal counsel. All this makes me hesitate to write in my usual over the top style.
In any case, I’ll attempt to write again and try to ignore the feeling that someone is watching and trying to salvage their wreckage off my observations.
Noam Chomsky, U.S. linguist, political analyst
The lumbering wheels of justice rolled up to my house (as Michael Corleone said: "IN MY HOME! Where my wife sleeps... and my children play with their toys.") and it has had a chilling effect. I am not going to discuss now, but I am very bothered and rather outraged, once I got over my initial shock and fear.
This chilling effect has made me suspect that my First Amendment rights are not so secure unless I have Paris Hilton’s legal counsel. All this makes me hesitate to write in my usual over the top style.
In any case, I’ll attempt to write again and try to ignore the feeling that someone is watching and trying to salvage their wreckage off my observations.
Holy fair use, Batman!
CafePress tells me it's an infringement. Like, this is going to hurt ticket sales to "The Dark Knight"?
Legoland, Part 6:Art
Legoland features a section devoted to recreating some of the world's most famous art -- paintings, mostly, but also some sculpture (imagine a life-size replica of Rodin's "The Thinker" made entirely out of gray lego bricks). Here are three to whet your appetite (I won't bother to identify the originals; it should be pretty obvious). The third one is the most ridiculous... Incidentally, you can click any of them to see a larger image that reveals more detail.
Legoland, Part 5:New Orleans
Yes, there's more. Today, just one photo -- a shot from Legoland's Miniland, this time the section devoted to recreating New Orleans entirely out of Lego blocks. On a little out-of-the-way street I saw two cops roughing up a perp, their actions being closely watched (and documented) by a curious bystander. OK, only one is roughing up the suspect -- the other is on the lookout for curious bystanders... look out when he notices our shutterbug!
I'm Selling a Legoland Ticket Cheap!
I'm selling a free admission ticket to Legoland (in Carlsbad, California) on eBay -- we got the free ticket as a "buy a ticket, go again for free" promotion, and we had one extra (long story). Check it out here and bid if you want to go to Legoland cheaply!
For those of you who missed it: click here.
For those of you who missed it: click here.
Legoland, Part 4:New York
Legoland's Miniland has an extensive New York section featuring all the famous New York landmarks. It's interesting that the Twin Towers were never built at Legoland, because the scale and required number of Lego bricks made it impractical. But after September 11, Legoland added a model of the proposed "Freedom Tower" that will be built, as well as the memorial Twin Towers footprints. You can click the photos below to see them larger.
Legoland, Part 3
Ah, the prurient eye at Legoland. For this installment of photos from my family's trip to Legoland, I present some images of the female form as represented at Legoland.
The Starlet
She wants to be Marilyn, minus the drug addiction and tragic death. Well, minus the tragic death. She's dressed to kill, and is vain enough to imagine that they're singing about her when they say, "she's a brick... house!" One question: are those crosses on her nipples?
Granny
It's really amazing how she's managed to keep herself looking so good at her advanced age.
Sleeping Beauty
Here we see Sleeping Beauty awaiting true love's kiss, with a fairly standard rack -- white and heaving, as her somnolent exhalations present her good side to her beloved.
Lego MILF
Given our status as a web-based literary publication, we find ourselves using words and phrases we might not utter in public -- like MILF. Nonetheless, here we see a young mother disciplining her child; though her top isn't very revealing, it seems she *is* wearing a thong.
Middle-aged Bathing Beauty
Her husband is snapping vacation picks while she models her new swimsuit. Note how middle-age has exaggerated her breasts, but her bikini top does a good job of maintaining their pleasant shape.
Eurotrash
What's up with this top? Is it stylish and minimalist, or is it just two diamonds attached with double-sided tape? The hat gives her game away -- she's a foreigner, and doesn't know any better.
The Starlet
She wants to be Marilyn, minus the drug addiction and tragic death. Well, minus the tragic death. She's dressed to kill, and is vain enough to imagine that they're singing about her when they say, "she's a brick... house!" One question: are those crosses on her nipples?
Granny
It's really amazing how she's managed to keep herself looking so good at her advanced age.
Sleeping Beauty
Here we see Sleeping Beauty awaiting true love's kiss, with a fairly standard rack -- white and heaving, as her somnolent exhalations present her good side to her beloved.
Lego MILF
Given our status as a web-based literary publication, we find ourselves using words and phrases we might not utter in public -- like MILF. Nonetheless, here we see a young mother disciplining her child; though her top isn't very revealing, it seems she *is* wearing a thong.
Middle-aged Bathing Beauty
Her husband is snapping vacation picks while she models her new swimsuit. Note how middle-age has exaggerated her breasts, but her bikini top does a good job of maintaining their pleasant shape.
Eurotrash
What's up with this top? Is it stylish and minimalist, or is it just two diamonds attached with double-sided tape? The hat gives her game away -- she's a foreigner, and doesn't know any better.
Simply UnbelievableThe Darwin Awards
Stupidity gets up early; that is why events are accustomed to happening in the morning.
Karl Kraus (1874-1936) satirist
This is from the 2007 Darwin Awards. Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.
The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.
In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.
(10 January 2007, East Germany) A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.
Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.
The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.
(27 July 2007, Guadalajara, Mexico) 24-year-old Jessica was working out in the Provincia Hotel's gym when she realised she needed something from the floor below. Instead of picking up the phone, using the intercom, or just walking downstairs, she decided that the open shaft of the industrial lift was the communications device for her.
So Jessica stuck her head into the empty shaft to shout to the people downstairs. And somehow, she missed noticing that the elevator was coming up towards her. If the elevator had been going down, one could say that she was in no position to observe the approaching lift. But, leaving aside the stupidity of sticking your head into an elevator shaft, if she was looking down, how could she miss the mass of metal inexorably headed her way?
Since an elevator cage and a skull are both solid objects, one had to give. Let's just say, the elevator won. Jessica will be missed by her family, but not by the gene pool.
Karl Kraus (1874-1936) satirist
This is from the 2007 Darwin Awards. Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.
The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!
When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.
The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.
In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.
(10 January 2007, East Germany) A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.
Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.
The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.
(27 July 2007, Guadalajara, Mexico) 24-year-old Jessica was working out in the Provincia Hotel's gym when she realised she needed something from the floor below. Instead of picking up the phone, using the intercom, or just walking downstairs, she decided that the open shaft of the industrial lift was the communications device for her.
So Jessica stuck her head into the empty shaft to shout to the people downstairs. And somehow, she missed noticing that the elevator was coming up towards her. If the elevator had been going down, one could say that she was in no position to observe the approaching lift. But, leaving aside the stupidity of sticking your head into an elevator shaft, if she was looking down, how could she miss the mass of metal inexorably headed her way?
Since an elevator cage and a skull are both solid objects, one had to give. Let's just say, the elevator won. Jessica will be missed by her family, but not by the gene pool.
Legoland, Part 2
Another installment in my Legoland pix -- two shots from the "Fairy Tale" ride, in which scenes from various non-Disney-owned fairy tale properties (or those that can somehow be still considered public domain) are built entirely from Lego and non-Lego parts (which comprises everything in the universe, really).
As for rights management, it's interesting to note as an aside that the Lego store featured a build-some-reindeer-and-a-sled activity, with said reindeer totalling nine and the lead reindeer featuring a spot upon which you could easily put a red brick to signify a certain reindeer's bright nose... but patrons were forbidden to do so because the rights to Rudolph are still held tightly and so Legoland can't simulate that reindeer.
Sleeping Beauty
Here we see Prince Charming chatting with someone on his celphone -- presumably *not* Sleeping Beauty, as she's... well... asleep, right? Weirder still is that you can hear a high-pitched tinny voice coming through the speaker (sort of like one of the Chipmunks) sounding as though it is giving a long list of things to do... interspersed with his lower-pitched grunt of assent. My guess is he's reconsidering whether he should wake his beloved or not.
Aladdin
I'm not entirely sure why Aladdin abandons his shoes in the cave of wonders as he rubs the magic lamp, but here they are -- for some reason with rollerblade attachments.
As for rights management, it's interesting to note as an aside that the Lego store featured a build-some-reindeer-and-a-sled activity, with said reindeer totalling nine and the lead reindeer featuring a spot upon which you could easily put a red brick to signify a certain reindeer's bright nose... but patrons were forbidden to do so because the rights to Rudolph are still held tightly and so Legoland can't simulate that reindeer.
Sleeping Beauty
Here we see Prince Charming chatting with someone on his celphone -- presumably *not* Sleeping Beauty, as she's... well... asleep, right? Weirder still is that you can hear a high-pitched tinny voice coming through the speaker (sort of like one of the Chipmunks) sounding as though it is giving a long list of things to do... interspersed with his lower-pitched grunt of assent. My guess is he's reconsidering whether he should wake his beloved or not.
Aladdin
I'm not entirely sure why Aladdin abandons his shoes in the cave of wonders as he rubs the magic lamp, but here they are -- for some reason with rollerblade attachments.
Happy New Year
All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) author
Happy New Year! Now let me take care of some old business. I would like to think if nothing else, Toner Mishap is supportive of other writers. I would have pointed this out earlier, but with being slammed at work, the holidays, and the flu, I now have the time to encourage all readers who enjoy an original and unique short story to read Amy Letter's short story that made me both chuckle and cringe. Amy from the Incertus blog had her story published at Fringe Magazine early this month.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) author
Happy New Year! Now let me take care of some old business. I would like to think if nothing else, Toner Mishap is supportive of other writers. I would have pointed this out earlier, but with being slammed at work, the holidays, and the flu, I now have the time to encourage all readers who enjoy an original and unique short story to read Amy Letter's short story that made me both chuckle and cringe. Amy from the Incertus blog had her story published at Fringe Magazine early this month.
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